The Dark Shadow Shrine

embrace the darkness; that you may see the light nestled within it......

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

GP Delight Feedback

As this is group work, I have decided to award the same grade to every member in the same group to reflect this, unless stated otherwise….Let me know if you feel strongly about this….
Go through my comments about your reports and drop me a mail if you have any queries….
I'll be laying the various 'delights' out in class for your 'delightful' viewings...feel free to browse through them, but they must NOT leave the 'armpit'!



TOPIC: Education
MEMBERS:
Azfar – C+
Jiayi – C+
Bryan – C+
Dexter – C+
COMMENTS:
-comprehensive types of education covered, but limited discussion on the whole where the issue of education is concerned. For example, what about informal education? Where adults (not in sch) are educated via the media and campaigns, esp in a fashioned desired by the govt?
-lacks analysis and evaluation with regard to the impact of education, its drawbacks…for instance, any imperfections? Over-emphasis on IQ over EQ? Any downside to education? Edn as solution to world problems such as poverty, AIDS, war, discrimination, etc? In short, the ‘larger’ picture of education could have been given more focus.
-What is the purpose of inserting the article “Singapore’s Education Scheme”? It appears to be just thrown in without any explanation….insertion of articles should be as proofs of your discussion earlier, not just for decorative purpose.

TOPIC: Childhood
MEMBERS:
Elizabeth – C+
Mimosa – C+
Hoang Long – C+
COMMENTS:
-interesting and potentially useful flow chart, but confusing to navigate
-bigger font please for easier readability, and avoid yellow font on a white background
-why typed font interspersed with written font?
-Essay outline: stand is missing! Why only three points? Too short! Comparison with 3rd world countries is useful, but what about important points like having grandparents, maids and child-care centres?

TOPIC: Violence
MEMBERS:
Charmaine - B
Denise - B
Ryan - B
Li Wen - B
COMMENTS:
-you mentioned environmental violence (natural disasters, pollution) earlier, but why didn’t pick up on this later?
-wide range of violence delineated
-difficult to navigate your core notes as headings/sections are not prominent and not clearly demarcated
-what about solutions to problems brought by violence?
-why didn’t print out article for commentary?
-article commentary is good….

TOPIC: War and Violence
MEMBERS:
Viresh - C
Linn Htet - C
Mark - C
Jackson - C
Tina - C
COMMENTS:
-limited scope in definition of violence in bubble chart
-unnecessary and impractical division into the different types of sexual violence…same for domestic violence – trivial branching out into the specifics
-bubble chart difficult to navigate at times
-Gandhi’s quote problematic…he’s more known for his non-violent stance
-colour contrast of font vs background not reader-friendly
-paucity in content for your core notes
-why essay outline only three points? Clarity also in doubt….your ‘bang’ also does not support your stand!
-what bearing do the articles attached to the back have on your report?

TOPIC: Aged/Handicapped
MEMBERS:
Kevin – B+
Clarence – B+
Clarisse – B+
Amrit – B+
Kenneth – B (penalized one grade down)
COMMENTS:
-mindmap on effects of ageing could be rendered more reader-friendly by highlighting the important headings
-comprehensive coverage
-Some of your quotes are too long to be of any practical use for your essays
-Good article commentary…well-executed!

TOPIC: Science and Technology
MEMBERS:
Stephanie – B-
Angel – B-
Danette – B-
Ameer – B-
COMMENTS:
-hand-written mindmap not readable…font too tiny! Also, “Benefit or Boon?” are the SAME!
-why such tiny font for your flow charts? Could’ve printed on A3 and then fold in half and filed up
-article commentary not exactly responding to the article per se (the article is too short anyway, and is hardly considered a discussion) but simply your views on nanotech. I’m asking for a response to an article engaging in a discussion of an issue!
-good essay outline…as for your closing bang on Fred Kaplan’s speech, was he referring to nuclear weapons with that question? Not clear….

TOPIC: Tourism
MEMBERS:
Aqeel – C+
Victoria – C+
Lydia – C+
Kari – C+
Michael – C+
COMMENTS:
-mostly raw info with little analysis or discussion of issues…ironically, you actually brought up a lot of potential points of interest in your essay outline
-too Singapore-centric…what about tourism as a whole, in general, as an important industry to the world?
-more prominent headings needed for easier navigation
-what is the purpose of the annual report? No explanation given for its inclusion…
-could have broken down into more useful headings such as advantages, drawbacks, threats to tourism, initiatives undertaken to boost tourism, etc.
-why some pages only have pics with no explanation?
-article on eco-tourism an apt issue and your response is insightful….

TOPIC: Poverty
MEMBERS:
Yixian – B-
Gowri – B-
Eunice – B-
Ria – B-
Kamani – B-
COMMENTS:
-good mindmap on poverty
-what’s the purpose of your second mindmap? No explanation given.
-your various graphs are relevant, but why no explanation of them? You’ve to interpret these graphs and explain briefly what they show or what conclusions can be drawn from them!
-inadequate writing…end result, lack of explanation! Only one page of writing for your core notes!
-essay outline: realize that your intro and conclusion are way too long! Regarding your point on education to remove poverty, isn’t it important to mention that education equip the poor people with skills to seek employment, as well as attract foreign investors to set up factories in these places? Nonetheless, some good points in your outline.
-why got extra sheets sandwiched btw the pages within the plastic pockets of your folder?

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